Dating Is Like Choosing a Book to Read

A flashy cover

A catchy introduction

An exciting first chapter

A wise friend of mine gave me some advice this past week when we were talking about the lack of success I have had in dating.

She compared dating to choosing books to read.

I don't typically blog about this part of my life, but I thought her analogy was pretty relevant.

When you first meet someone, it's typically the cover that catches your eye.

Some books you know right away aren't going to interest you. The cover is too dark or the images are disturbing. You walk past those.

But then there are those that speak to you.

That book cover immediately catches your eye.

The colors are deep and striking, and the presentation of the images is real and genuine.

You flip the book over to read the summary on the back cover.

The plot sounds interesting. This book might have potential!

You want to read more, to learn about the characters in the book and see how the story develops.

So you pick up the book. Take it on a first date.

The first chapter is fun and exciting, you're laughing and holding your breath the whole way through.

As you get further into the book, there are parts that you like, and parts that maybe you don't like quite so much.

You have to decide whether the good parts are better than the not so good ones. After all, no story is perfect.

Then the main character does something you'd never expect. And you start to feel like maybe you don't want to see where this story is going.

But you're a book lover and you believe in the benefit of the doubt.

So you continue to read, struggling to relate to the path that character has chosen to take. You start to feel sad or uncomfortable with how he/she treats the other characters or the thought process that's being used to move that character's life forward.

Ultimately, you have to make a choice.

Will you finish this book?

Or will you gently put it aside and find one that is a better fit for the story you want your own life to tell?

It's hard to put a book aside without finishing it, at least for me. I have historically felt like I owed it to the author because they spent so much time writing it and putting it out there.

But as I've grown older (and I like to think wiser), I've also realized that time is my most precious commodity.

I have to choose to spend it on things (and people) that add meaning to my life and that are in line with my core values.

So I do a better job now of putting books aside if the story doesn't feel right.

This journey that I've been on for the past seven years has been quite the adventure. I've learned so much about myself and met a lot of interesting people.

I know I will ultimately find that book that is worth reading to the very end.

It might turn out to be a choose your own adventure, or a non-fiction story with a big heart, or maybe even a comedy with a funny, but sweet, happy ending.

It might be waiting in a place I've never been to before, or right around the corner in my hometown.

And when I do find it, there's a perfect place on my bookshelf, just waiting to be filled.

Right between Shel Silverstein and Stephen King...